Friday, June 15, 2007

Why Mommy is a Squirrelly Democrat

From Michael Smith at the blog Stop Me Before I Vote Again, a look at a children's book called "Why Mommy is a Democrat". It starts with this great sample page:

Beyond parody
[...] So many thoughts crowd to mind looking at something like is. Is Mama Squirrel's resemblance to Hillary Clinton intentional? And what about Daddy? Perhaps he's that sinister tramp lurking in the background, an otherwise inexplicable adult middle-class nightmare visited upon the two or three innocent children who will actually be subjected to this noxious potion of treacle and arsenic.

Michael's curiosity gets the best of him, and he buys the book! He is then able to provide us with more details:

Why Mommy needs to get out more
[...] The illustrations aren't quite so strange as the Web reproductions make them appear, although there is something funny about the little squirrels' eyes. Ritalin, perhaps. But the text more than makes up for it. It lists twelve reasons why Mommy is a Democrat. Among these, Democrats are said to "make sure"

* ... everyone always has enough to eat
* ... everyone is treated fairly
* ... everyone plays by the rules
* ... no one fights
* ... we all share our toys
* ... we are nice to people who are different
* ... sick people are able to see a doctor
* ... we are always safe
* ... we clean up our messes
* ... children can go to school
* ... everyone has a warm bed to sleep in

Now I'm sure everyone will have his own favorites from the list -- mine is "everyone plays by the rules," which features Mommy somewhat fetishistically dressed as a soccer referee. (Whew! *Mops sweat from brow*)

But the truly extraordinary thing is that each and every one of these statements, as applied to the Democrats, is a glaring, obvious, flat-out falsehood. Democrats don't do any of these things, and indeed do the very opposite of many of them, con brio. (I'm thinking particularly of "make sure nobody fights.") What world do these folks live in, where such whoppers can -- and should! -- be told to innocent children? [...]

Democrats don't do all those things, but they ARE very good at posturing and posing as if they do. Isn't that almost the same thing? ;-)

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